SET 0001 / FIVE TO CONSIDER

Two ways to go.

Five choices. The crowd waits until the end.

1. 1. You can teleport anywhere instantly, but every arrival is accompanied by a marching band that performs your full legal name and guesses at your recent browser history. or You can rewind time by ten minutes whenever you want, but each rewind makes one local pigeon remember everything you did and judge you silently.
2. 2. You can understand every language ever spoken, but you also hear what houseplants are thinking, and they mostly complain about your watering schedule. or You can speak to animals and they always answer honestly, but every conversation ends with them asking you to solve a problem involving a tiny hat.
3. 3. You can become invisible at will, but your clothes remain visible and begin loudly narrating your intentions in the voice of a disappointed sports commentator. or You can fly at highway speed, but only while holding a perfectly level tray of soup, and the soup’s temperature determines your altitude.
4. 4. You get one wish every day, but the wish is granted by a committee of lawyers who interpret every sentence literally and charge you in unreturned library books. or You can make anyone agree with you, but they immediately explain their agreement in a 45-minute lecture delivered from inside a nearby vending machine.
5. 5. You never need to sleep again and feel perfectly rested, but every night your dreams are rented out for conferences attended by your least favorite acquaintances. or You can instantly master any skill, but your new expertise is only usable while wearing a damp cardboard crown that must be defended from squirrels.

Choose your five to see how the room chose.