SET 0003 / FIVE TO CONSIDER

Two ways to go.

Five choices. The crowd waits until the end.

1. 1. You can instantly master any instrument, but every song you play is accompanied by a live choir of geese loudly judging your technique. or You can make any audience weep on command, but each performance permanently replaces one of your favorite memories with the lyrics to a jingle.
2. 2. You can teleport anywhere, but you always arrive wearing the exact outfit you had on at age seven, including the uncomfortable shoes. or You can fly anywhere at the speed of a bicycle, but a tiny brass band follows beneath you and plays the same song until you land.
3. 3. You can eat anything without getting sick or gaining weight, but every meal must be served in a bathtub by a butler who insists on reciting its ingredients as poetry. or You can cook a perfect meal from any ingredients, but one random ingredient is replaced by a squeaky toy that screams when bitten.
4. 4. You can speak every language fluently, but whenever you lie, you do it in an accent so convincing that everyone assumes you’re impersonating a famous actor. or You can understand every animal, but they all believe you’re their unpaid intern and immediately assign you tedious errands.
5. 5. You can pause time for as long as you like, but a giant invisible clock loudly narrates how much time you’re wasting. or You can rewind one embarrassing moment each day, but the embarrassment transfers to a random stranger, who receives a handwritten apology from you in the mail.

Choose your five to see how the room chose.