SET 0007 / FIVE TO CONSIDER

Two ways to go.

Five choices. The crowd waits until the end.

1. 1. You can teleport anywhere instantly, but every arrival makes you loudly announce the last thing you Googled. or You can pause time for ten minutes a day, but you must spend the pause wearing a hat chosen by a nearby pigeon.
2. 2. You become universally beloved by cats, but they all insist on accompanying you to important meetings and loudly reviewing your performance. or You can understand every language, but whenever you speak one, you sound like a disappointed game-show host.
3. 3. You get a personal chef who makes every meal perfect, but they can only cook while narrating your childhood memories as a nature documentary. or You never have to sleep again, but every night your dreams are replaced by a six-hour lecture from a very confident turnip.
4. 4. You can summon any book you want, but it arrives clamped to your hand until you finish reading it aloud in a public place. or You can instantly learn any skill, but for the next week you must perform it using only your elbows.
5. 5. You can make any object you touch slightly more valuable, but it becomes emotionally attached to you and begs not to be sold. or You can see one minute into the future, but the vision is always narrated by a tiny opera singer living in your left shoe.

Choose your five to see how the room chose.